Did you hear about the African missionary that gave some cannibals their first taste of religion?
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
If Atheists don’t believe in God…
…can they get insured for an act of god?
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil-worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa!
How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it!
Clothes make the person…?
What do you call a dead atheist?
All dressed up and no place to go!
Why David Killed Goliath
Do you know why David killed Goliath and then decapitated him?
He wanted to get a-head!