About kids
No Oranges
Father: Suppose I had ten oranges and gave you a couple, how many would I still have?
Son: I'm not sure, because we study with apples at school.
Disposition To Have Children
It has been wisely noted that producing children runs in families.
In other words: If your parents were childless, you'll probably be childless too.
Learning to Pick Up Toys
Dad: This room is such a disaster. When are our kids going to start tidying up their toys?
Mom: As soon as they have children of their own!
Duck sentence
TEACHER: "Johnny, incorporate defeat, deduct, defense, and detail into a single sentence."
JOHNNY: "De-feet of DE-duck walked past De-fence and then saw De-tail."
Mutated Gene
All children who entered the world in the 1980s and later were born with a special mutated gene that enables them to know which buttons to push on electronic gadgets.
Our Peak Mental Activity
The period when the mind is most active certainly occurs between four and eighteen years old.
At four, we have every question; at eighteen, we have every answer.
Fellow Lounging On the Couch Who Watches Football
How does a sofa differ from a man viewing Monday Night Football?
The sofa never repeatedly requests a beverage.
Kids In College
It's easy to sympathize with the father whose three children attend college.
He mentions to his wife that their wealth decreases with each degree obtained.
Typist
A young girl was industriously typing on her father's computer. She explained to him that she was composing a tale.
"What is the subject?" he inquired.
"I have no idea," she answered. "I'm unable to read."
