Religious

Did you hear about the African missionary that gave some cannibals their first taste of religion?

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.

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Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

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Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

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Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.

David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

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Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

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Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

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Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

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Q. Who is the greatest baby-sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

If Atheists don’t believe in God…
…can they get insured for an act of god?

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil-worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa!

How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it!

What do you call a dead atheist?
All dressed up and no place to go!

Do you know why David killed Goliath and then decapitated him?
He wanted to get a-head!